Notes May 9, 2010 The Penultimate Episode The Reversith Apprentice says: in the style of a 14 year-old myspace whore he's gone and written an ambiguous angsty response http://couldyouspareaminute.tumblr.com/post/582644133/lol-fuck-you how mental is that Tom says: oh well actually aww now i'm on his autistic obsessive hate list The Reversith Apprentice says: lmfao Tom says: which means i have to worry about him garroting me or something that would be the ultimate irony me dying because of my supposed "love" for you The Reversith Apprentice says: lmfao *steals idea for a story* Tom says: AWWW BOLLOCKS *scrambles for copyright* *keeps eye open for evil lawyer* The Reversith Apprentice says: *door turns to ash* *silhouette of lawyer is in doorway* *lawyer steps forward* Tom says: *evil lawyer uses ice beam* The Reversith Apprentice says: *removes mask* *it is eliot humphreys* WHAT A TWIST Tom says: OMG The Reversith Apprentice says: THATS WHY ITS ALWAYS YOU WHO DIES Tom says: THAT WOULD MAKE PERFECT SENSE wow what a finale The Reversith Apprentice says: ITS ALL FALLEN INTO PLACE wait it isnt a finale there's millions of lawyers in this dimension Tom says: yeah i mean technically for dramatic effect The Reversith Apprentice says: but at least there's lights at the end of the tunnel Tom says: we should have destroyed the replicants before eliot removed his mask The Reversith Apprentice says: what? dont you remember? *dodd creates excuse for plot hole* *flashback to dodd and tom in a space shuttle with laser cannons in their hands* *heavy metal music comparable to that in Transformers* *tom and dodd go on an impossible killing spree throughout the galaxy* ...and you're telling me you don't remember that? Tom says: to be honest the amount of short term memory loss i've endured due to heavy drinking anything could have happened and i'd probably believe it so yeah why the fuck not The Reversith Apprentice says: well there we go I'll erm hop on a coach to surrey and find the victor standing there shaking and the loser drowning in his own blood good luck in the final battle with humphreys tom Tom says: CONCLUSION PENDING EST. 2012 The Reversith Apprentice says: thank fuk fuck we can leave that to lie for a bit Tom says: lmao The Reversith Apprentice says: now we can get on with our lives Tom says: hows the revision going?
0 notes February 25, 2010 The change is irreversible. He is in this world forever. Tom says: i'm just going to facebook bail right now Stan says: lmao what Tom says: its when you click off facebook facebook bail Stan says: oh lmao Tom says: copyright thomas goulding 2010 Stan says: *evil lawyer appears* I think you'll find thomas Tom says: *nukes evil lwayer's wormhole* Stan says: that you won't be doing that oh . Tom says: yeah I wrote that Stan says: WHEN THE HELL DID YOU PROCURE A NUCLEAR WEAPON Tom says: off the french Stan says: but but the EVIL LAWYER Tom says: has had his route to this world DESTROYED Stan says: *thousands of evil lawyers divide and multiply from the single surviving cell in his body* Tom says: *flamethrower* Stan says: *the radiation creates mutated flame-resistant hides on his body* Tom says: *piercing popping screech* Stan says: *or bodies* Tom says: look i'm not dying today. it just isn't happening Stan says: *evaporates* he's gone. Tom says: i'm allowed to copyright 'facebook bail' Stan says: for now. but you just know that he's going to come back more powerful than you've ever imagined Tom says: ....does he have to? Stan says: yes he's flame resistant now as well and there's thousands of him we are to be fair fucked Tom says: look I nuked his wormhole Stan says: and he's back in this world he's stuck in this world Tom says: aww shit. Stan says: the single cell that stayed in this world divided multiplied and made his thousands of copies near-invincible and now he's stuck here on this planet in this universe and he's gonna fucking get us Tom says: he's now going to overthrow a minor regime in East Africa Stan says: you watch Tom says: and play God while he waits Stan says: it'll ACTUALLY be on the news *goulding luck hits a new low* when our imagination becomes reality as it just has you know 2012 isn't far off Tom says: was it a meteorite? a super volcano? no a multiplied fire retardant lawyer with links to the disney corporation triggered a nuclear hell. Stan says: what the fuck goes on in our mind seriously
0 notes February 21, 2010 A Theory Tom says: oh ffs right next time he's going to yours he can overshoot surrey for once in other dimensions I have been nuked shot grenaded mutilated and now lasered Olaf says: in this dimension tom in the real world I think you'll find the evil lawyer is in both of us we ARE the evil lawyer and it just indicates a shared desire for the destruction of uh Tom says: ... Olaf says: you and surrey Tom says: right it's 1.40 I'M GOING
Notes February 21, 2010 Potential ties: Black Eyed Peas, Snow Patrol, Anti-Wanking groups Olaf says: typing with one hand is hard so I thought I'll spare a minute to clean myself up anyway now I can't even look YOU in the eye holy shit what a discovery Open your eyes to the chord pattern at the start you can sing the words to I've got a feeling Tom says: ... Olaf says: open your eyes by snow patrol seriously put it on SERIOUSLY TRY IT Tom says: i don't have that song anymore Olaf says: FIND IT I wanna do a mashup seriously get on youtube I thought that snow patrol were supposed to be uplifting jesus they just sound cheesy Tom says: holy mind fuck *bars windows and door from evil lawyer* Olaf says: *earth shattering screech* *tom's walls melt* Tom says: *cowers under desk* WAIT BEFORE YOU STRIKE ME WITH THAT MACHETE IT WAS DODD THIS TIME Olaf says: *strikes with machete* Tom says: HE STUMBLED UPON IT nooooooaaarrggghhhh Olaf says: *lasers tom's face* *dodd leaves hanmer hall for algeria* *evil lawyer never finds him*
Notes February 19, 2010 One Step Closer Tom says: how will you ever prove your innocence more to the point how come I come back in every episode alive unscathed Olaf says: I think we might have to explain that each one is set in a parallel universe and why is it always you who is killed I'm never killed Tom says: its shit. Olaf says: I just get maimed and have to mourn you lmfao Tom says: because for some reason he always appears here first Olaf says: my favourite one is when we were in surrey and we had an argument and just started bazookaing the evil lawyer then he nuked surrey but I left just in time and you were just sat in the crater of your flat maybe he lives in the south Tom says: glad my flatmates never found out about that one all twats live in the south, it makes sense Olaf says: no because they were all vaporised we're one step closer to finding his den Tom says: its somewhere between portsmouth and hastings and he wears an evening suit Olaf says: not all the time Tom says: we've never ever discussed his dress code then again he is omnipresent one day i'm just going to dodd/tom universe fuck you and send the socialists in Olaf says: we also know now that he has ties with robbie williams Tom says: and the disney corporation Olaf says: why when was that Tom says: don't know I've just heard they have a lot of evil lawyers
Notes February 19, 2010 Robbie Williams' Secret Tom says: we've stumbled on robbie william's secret fuck we're not saf- *dart in neck* Olaf says: TOM NO EVIL LAWYER *poof* Tom says: *evil lawyer arrives in evening suit* Olaf says: TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM Tom says: *with blowpipe* *scans tom's computer screen* *leaves* *knock on dodd manor* Olaf says: *tense violins* *dodd gets gun* *opens door* *shoots* *looks at his uncle's corpse on the doorstep* *dodd is arrested for the double homicide of his uncle and tom goulding*
